It can be said that most parents attach great importance to their children's results, and inquire about the results of other students from time to time, lest their children's results fall behind, but if the children do not pass the test well, or the results are not as good as others Students, how should parents face their children at this time?
Over-emphasis on scores
American educator Spencer once said: "As a parent, you must not place too much emphasis on your child's test scores. Instead, you should focus on the development of your child's thinking ability and learning methods, and try to retain the child's most valuable interest and curiosity. Absolutely Exam scores cannot be used to judge the pros and cons of a child, let alone the child's sense of honor and shame. "
In general, it should be that the test scores reflect some of the child's situation. However, a certain performance cannot prove how much knowledge the child has really learned, nor can it prove that a child's character and talent are not the only criterion for measuring the child.
Many parents expect their children to become successful, and they place too much emphasis on their academic performance. However, they do not know that this will bring many negative consequences.
1) Too much emphasis on scores will make children afraid of exams
Parents expect their children to excel.
In order to prevent this expectation from failing, parents have asked their children for a tutor for their children to participate in special classes, and some parents have arranged extra homework for their children.
On the one hand, too high expectations and overinvestment in children's academic performance, on the one hand, brought singularity of expectations, and parents consciously or unconsciously ignored children's education in morals, morals, labor, and other aspects.
On the other hand, too high and singular expectations of parents, whether for children with good or poor academic performance, will cause a mental burden and induce psychological disorders.
Some children usually have good academic performance, but they are nervous as they approach the exam and are worried that the exam will not be good. The more afraid you are, the easier it is to make mistakes, and the worse your exams are.
2) Too much emphasis on scores will damage children's self-esteem
Most children, even those with poor learning, have a positive desire deep inside.
Even some children who usually do well in the performance can't guarantee high scores every time. Even subjects that are well-learned usually may fail in the exam if they do not perform well or because of other factors.
At this time, if the parents only care about their children's test results, they don't ask indiscriminately, they will be reprimanded, or they will take some aggressive behaviors, which will make the child feel wronged and hurt their self-esteem. In the long run, children will be violently abandoned, and children will be tired of school.
3) Too much emphasis on scores, it is easy to cause confrontation between children and parents
Many parents are angry with their children because of their achievements, often because of their own face. The child has good grades and has light on his face. On the contrary, he feels that he has lost his face.
The situation of each child is different and cannot be measured on a scale. Moreover, parents often compare the advantages of their children with the deficiencies of other children in comparison, and even compare the ideal child with the actual child.
The results of such comparisons, on the one hand, cause children to lose self-confidence, and then to lose learning and construction and enthusiasm. On the other hand, if the parents' mentality is imbalanced, their attitudes will become rough, and their education methods will be improper, which will easily lead to emotional confrontation with their children.
How to treat underachievers
1) Recognize differences and make progress step by step
Every child's academic performance will always be different due to different intelligence factors, previous learning foundations, and adaptation to a new environment.
What parents need to do is to understand the situation carefully (such as the difficulty of the exam, the child ’s mastery of knowledge, etc.), listen to the child ’s explanations, and cannot arbitrarily draw the conclusion that the child does not study hard. Instead, the child should be encouraged to study hard and gradually improve grades.
2) Investigate the cause and find a solution
Parents should work with their children to investigate the reasons for poor performance in some subjects--
Is it that the study attitude is not serious, the study methods are not correct, the study habits are not good, or the class is not focused enough, do not understand and dare not ask the teacher, did not digest the knowledge learned in time, or did not do things carefully, did not complete homework on time, and did not review the homework in time , Nervous or not careful when taking the exam ...
In the process of investigating the cause, on the one hand, parents must insist on in-depth analysis, be attentive, and remember not to be angry, not to blame the child, so that the child can tell the real reason, and do not make pretentious answers.
On the other hand, parents should guide their children to find ways to improve and what to do in the future.
3) Tolerant encouragement, perseverance
When the child does not get the expected grades on the exam, it is very sad. At this time, parents should never irritate the child, and do not sprinkle a handful of salt on the child's wound.
Instead, show your tolerance and comfort. At the same time, don't forget to say "next effort" to your child, so that the child turns his attention to the next opportunity.
Even if the child is tired of school and his grades are very bad, the parents must hold back the momentary anger, adjust their mentality, give the child the greatest tolerance and encouragement, and find ways to turn the child's eyes to their strengths, enhance self-confidence and increase interest in learning Let the children find the power of comfort and continued efforts in the tolerance of their parents.